Why again..Why ever, Why forever?

Agonising day, Confused thoughts..
A picture on the TV screen of people running , kids crying, blood all around ....Yesterday it was Kalka mail..today it was Serial bomb blasts!!
I m Sad, Confused, Angry, hurt and all the negative emotions are flowing thru my mind as i think about today..It has been arnd 12 hrs since the blast and my anger is nt yet subsiding..YYYYYYYYY is the question we all want to ask..Y now Y ever..Y do u hav to do that to innocent ppl and Be Happy abt it..
Anyways..Sounds like I am whining..But why not? arent all of us around doing the same thing??? that is what is the whole point of this blog that this cribbing is leading us nowhere...We are crying today, will be Kicking up a fuss tomorrow..creating a roar next week and then....Boo..Nothing Tada..It will be all over...we will Go back to our cocoons and sleep peacefully, till another blast or another shootout or a another scam shakes this country and Lo Behold! this vicious cycle starts again....
As of the moment Wat is exactly are we criticizing- We are criticizing govts, we are criticizing police we are criticizing cricumstances..abt nearly everyything we can lay the blame on..wat i don understand is that WHY? Has it given any results in the past that its gonna give any today.. What hav we achieved in past so many yrs of criticism??
We are blaming it on govt...Are we saying in past fifty yrs and more of independance..we have never been able to choose a govt properly. Is the public of India so ignorant and stupid..I Guess not…Is it the position that brings with it a unwritten books somehwhere that they don have to wrk for betterment of ppl..I guess not..then y does everything fall on their shoulders..
.Wat is that we want govt to do??? Come on roads start checking ur and mine bags bikes , cars , even umbrellas(Like in today's case ) and find out the bomb..Wat is exactly the expectation..
we expect police to protect us ....but do we cooperate with them at security chk points...How many of us have not bribed a police wala 50 rs while driving without license and getting caught..How many of us have not used the name of out commisioner uncle or a under secretary in govt to achieve results with them...Most probably most of us...
Today also somewhere somebody gt sold for that 50Rs ...somwhere sombody closed his eyes .But isnt it a long time habit installed by us....That one 50 on road that we gave somewhere came till here…
For one moment just think how did that bomb reach those places..Somewhere somebody unsatisfied with the govt tried to shake them..Why did the dissatisfaction arise..Didnt we in one way or the other were part of it..whether by giving donations to get a back door entry in a job or in a school..where most probably somebody thought righteously was theirs..Werent we at fault then..
We talk about terror....Why do u think it generated...From this kind of dissatisfaction right..Watever the reasons maybe...Somewhere the way this society has been drafted is the reason behind it...and we today can change it...if not finish terror a lil change in our attitude most prob can stop a person from being a future terrorist....
In today’s news one more incident caught the eye..a person getting murdered mid market by four people ….seen by fifty people recorded in a CCTV..is fifty a bigger number in strength or four..it seems the four stood out..because these fifty was all alone in their thoughts and these four united..Wish we were united there..Atleast one less news would have adorned the newspaper…Did we not rightly heard in our childhood “United we stand, Divided we fall.“
If we are united in our thoughts to change this society…then nothing can stop us..I don think I am discussing much…Just a
Lil' more civic sense , a Lil more cooperation with the govt..a lil less bribery..a lil less dependancy on those uncles in power.. and am sure lots of different ways which I am not able to even think this moment …might ..just might… go a long way ..so that another fifty yrs down the line our kids don have to lament..WHY..WHY..WHY!!

Everbeaten path of Life!!!

Don call me a artist, don call me a preacher. I am simply a philosphical beater...”

A heavy line, a heavy topic but thats where I lead to in times like this..Where my brains is leading me today too...bringing tinges of grey with the shades of orange and red..Life is beckoning me in its arms.

I am entering a valley of flowers where the mirage is most common ....Mirage of catching a flower which will never wilt...A flower which will never loose its color or fragrance...thts wat happiness is..As of the moment am dreading entering that land ..that valley that once crossed will lead me to a snow laiden mountain which will be heaven to me ..but too cold to handle...where no warmth prevails.. no colors..Only Black and white..only coldness though ending into a color of its own.

My world is too colorful for my own taste....As of the moment I am in a land of lots of greys..with hundreds of dot shaped colorful moments..Colors as vivid and vibrant as life ..and as dark as a moonless night-but atleast its a plain ever beaten path of life..with no ups and downs ..but now where this road is curving to? I do not like whats happening around me...its too fast..too crazy..,a revolution ,a cyclone thats taking me with it ...... I am leaving lots of things behind, Lots of dreams that I had to fulfill...lots of fears I had to conquer...Lots of moments that i had to live..Lots of friends whom I had to understand..Lots of cycles that I had to complete..
There is this feeling of incompleteness...I don know why..Its not the time or the place to describe all, But yes I will look back to all these moments with fondness and little regret ….I wish I was able to complete all the designated cycles and I would have flown with the wind with no looking back!

But this will not stop me from entering my own, My very own-Valley of flowers..Where a cool breeze awaits me..promises to lull me to a peaceful sleep which I have not gained in ages..where the colors are so full of life that they take u to a dream land which is surrounded by angels, But I ll be strong enough to resist this indulgence and be on my path to that highest peak from where I can see all the seven rainbows giving birth to the very own base colors of Life -better know as “VIBGYOR” 

Just praying to thee..let my journey be safe for people around ..:)

colors of life!

Remember ur first movie with ur dad...

Remember that time wen u got 2 out of 10 in a class test for the first time and u had to get that test paper signed by mom,

Or remember that moment wen first time u faced darkness alone....

remember the moment wen u were going to propose for the first time...

remember the moment wen u fell in love for first time..
Those feelings those thoughts had their importance at that time and today they don feel minor issues. Why so..simple colors of life which were govenrned by such small things have lost brightness now..Thats life i guess.


Life comes with varied colors to us and we as humans experience it and everytime think this is the darkest or the brightest and there next day we again see a lil brighter a lil more darker color.

My journey of life has shown me enriching colors and m still waiting to see more. :)

Priority in life!

Man.. A heaavy word to start a day with..but thts the word i was thrown at first thing in the morning by somebody i Know..I knew it was coming for some time..with lots of ppl coming and asking my abt my Priorities sometimes of the moment..soemtimes of the day...Suddenly i think today its of life itself..So todays questions was--Wats ur priority in life dear!!!
and Boom..the question is playing a boomerang in my head..banging and hitting all the walls but not coming to a specific answer..Have been thinking about it..wats mine or for that matters anybody's priority in life..
Family,Job, Money, Power - We have so many options to reply with..But m unable to sit on either one.Can u sit or pinpoint on one?
If u had asked me as of the moment..well truly frankly I would have said loads of documentation that I have to do at work..On second thoughts my Appraisal which for watever reasons i did nt do..or better still my non existent family life with my husband back in India..See so much to think....n so many priorities..how do i choose one..
For that matter My priority is a combination of money job family and power not in order.
I cant select one and stick to it and run for it and by it.
I need all at the sametime. And no thts nt greed I guess thats a Balance that we need to achieve. All of us strive to achieve
I don know how many amongst u will say that no thts not the case....We need money More then anything...or power or job or family.but tell me wat u need more then anything..than Will u live without other three if u get it...
Guess not. IF yes Would love to know from u ..Mine is a combination of all this ..WATS Ur's.

Long Long Long later I m coming to the scene for anything remotely like blogging.. Wat should I say..I was simply lost in the world of Computers with no time for Blogging..too busy in married life..Too busy with work...Too busy with friends!!!! So many reasons...All valid but yet UNTRUE!!!! Yup None of these are valid reasons for not blogging..Let me say the truth Did nt feel like it..n today..Y do i Do it???

Well nothing much....somebody asked me to thats Y !! As simple as that..no specific Reason nothing special happening.just a simple request from a friend and here I go..One more..read few blogs n thot I do write well..thn Y should I not do it..Plus one more of my frnds wanted to do it ..I thot before I tell him how to do it ..Let me practice it myself..N yes Amir Khan's blog inspired me(Ok..Thats nt true again!!!)

Now he requested me to blog but what should I blog about..I think we blog wen we really have soemthing to say...n nobody else to listen so we decide to put it on Paper..Oops no INTERNET!!!So that in this multi billion trillion population of people..somebody is gonna read it ...and then ..comment..we follow our own blog for somedays..n then forget about it!!! I don know abt everybody it mite nt be true for regular blogger also but yup true for people like me..We blog wen we feel like talking and have nobody to listen..

but then this is nt the reason for todays blog..Don ask me the reason again..I have already told u the reason above..Go and read from the start if u don remember!.

U know wat.I have actually something else to say too..actually lots...yup lots and lots happened in the past few months since I did nt blog..

Guess WAT...M in US..first happening

second GOT MARRIED!!!Biggest moment of life....n 

third thing..Don judge me on this ..But m still in US ...thts no surprise - Wats there to judge in it isnt it? Well there is..My husband is not here with me!!!..

Yup Me here all alone....For wat purpose Don ask me ..Am still wondering my self..Y do I do this...Money..No yaar..can get that in India too...Job Satisfaction ..can say so but nopes got that in India too..then wats the reason..Let me think...ummm...mmmm..

ok I guess its because Satyam sent me here.n no other company is hiring me in India ..and I cant leave job....Right..Sounds logical...

well thts the reason I tell everybody..sounds reason of a sissy and CAnt I find a job? people say m good at wat I do..atleast my manager does..I don knw ..M not gettng a diff job still :(....If u still think i should go bk to INdia..Help me getting a job!!![;)]

Wat else...Ok one more thing..Had a mixed yr..,met nice ppl..ya ya..Everybody is nice..And had fites with them too. its resolved..It strengthened my frndship with them..and gave me a new insight into people's mind too(Didnt I tell u before reading ppl's mind is my hobby!!! yup it is..Consider myself pretty good at it too..But anyways will talk abt it some other time!!!)

For today..Read it Comment it..N then like me forget it!!!!!

A restlessness..

Today ma peaceful life is restless not because of me but others....Can u beat that..no this storm is coming in other's life and i have somehow entangled myself in it..can anybody do that..i don know...my frnd was in big personal truble and i just helped him because i knew he was right...now i hav spoiled my personal professional relations..have done it rite or wrong...well guess i cant control my anger but do i have to if i am seeing wrong happening arnd me..do i hav to be a silent watcher...i cant be...i hav to meddle ..i don know thts how i m since always..meddling in others affairs if one rite side is getting weaker i have to ..just hav to..wat to do ..wat to say...well i m like that thts all...i hate this.....n then i hav my family to worry abt...don know wat to say about it..its just that i m worried n hence pouring my worries over here..
guess this phase keeps on coming in anybody's life...wat say...does it?

Ma Life

What has life become in the span of four years since i m away from home..today if i sit back and imagine i m nt atall am the girl who was there four yrs bk...my MBa my Job changed hell too much...some changes i like some i myself don like..but m nt ready to even change changes i don like ..can u beat that..all my over the yrs come and give me my good and bad points ..and i m still like hearing and forgetting..I m happy with myself ..but yes i know i cant be like this ever..i ll be lonely at one day in my life and that day is nt far.. is it?
me who after all these yrs values frnds most cant even keep them...no its nt about keeping them they r still there ..just i m moving too fast so they r Left behind ..wat else to say...as of the moment am feeling so lost, n here i always thought that i knew myself so well :)
well anyways guess just one more phase in life..Hope this will pass soon..but one thing for sure ..i m nt ready to change now..I ll change with my own time ..wen the need arises as of now I will not.